Who am i to say - Hope
Love of my life, my soul-mate
You're my best friend
Part of me like breathing
Now half of me is left
I don't know anything at all
Who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you need me
Color me blue I'm lost in you
Don't know why I'm still waiting
Many moons have come & gone
Don't know why I'm still searching
Don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you need me
Hmmm hmmm mmm
Uhhh oohhh aahhh
Hooo aahhh ohh ohhh
Now you're a song I love to sing
Never thought it feels so free
Now I know what's meant to be
And that's okay with me
But who am I to say you love me
And who am I to say you need me
And who am I to say you love me
Mmmm Hmmm
I don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you love me
I don't know anything at all
And who am I to say you need me
I don't know anything at all
I don't know anything at all
I don't know anything at all
I don't know anything at all
This is my favorite song at the moment. I've been listening to it on repeat ever since i heard it on the amv i previously posted. I know im a noob haha, and a really sucker for tragedy especially when it comes to romance. XD probably has something to do with the entry where i mentioned that only true love ever ends in tragedy, yet i guess thats what makes it so beautiful. the most amazing things in life are the things that dont survive, because they've struggled to live, to survive, but in the end its all tragedy, making it truly admirable. True beauty.
TTFN*mock salute*
LBL
Sunday, July 8, 2007
Saturday, July 7, 2007
Bebo File
They say that the first sign of insanity is when one starts to talk to them-self, if thats so then i have reached a point beyond the insane.
Im as close as personal train wreck can get in a bottle. You know those people who put the world on their shoulders when in fact their shoulders are to small, and they bottle up emotion because they 'dont believe in it.' Yea you know them, im one of them, it has me written and stamped all over the bottle thats half way to china.
As my name suggests, i am infact a jester to the world. I have many masks, all used to support and entertain all who surround me. I live to keep the smiles on my friends faces, but not my own, which is obviously where the masks come into play. What mask will i be wearing around you?
Im as close as personal train wreck can get in a bottle. You know those people who put the world on their shoulders when in fact their shoulders are to small, and they bottle up emotion because they 'dont believe in it.' Yea you know them, im one of them, it has me written and stamped all over the bottle thats half way to china.
As my name suggests, i am infact a jester to the world. I have many masks, all used to support and entertain all who surround me. I live to keep the smiles on my friends faces, but not my own, which is obviously where the masks come into play. What mask will i be wearing around you?
Wednesday, July 4, 2007
Me?
The greatest thing you'll ever learn is just to love and be loved in return. How true these famous words are to those who brave the fear of love itself. Yet can anyone truely say that they have loved so purely to accept love in return? i can not aswer such a question myself, but i find it hard to believe as love like this usually ends in tragedy...a glimps would only be a dream.
have you ever spent hours worrying over some little thing, until the point where you wanted to cry...yet couldnt? no matter how hard you tried the tears wouldnt fall, and in the end you were stuck in constant suffering because you couldnt find competion. walls prevent tears, even if they are shattered...you forget how to cry, all for the sake of composure and pride, but even when there is none of this left one still can not step past old habbits. i am one such person. i have cried for one reason and for one person only. never for anyone or anything else. saying so will destroy what shreads are left of my pride, as of now there is nothing left of what once was. the jester has gone - the mask has been broken, here i stand. this is the alice no one ever knew.
TTFN*mock salute*
LBL
have you ever spent hours worrying over some little thing, until the point where you wanted to cry...yet couldnt? no matter how hard you tried the tears wouldnt fall, and in the end you were stuck in constant suffering because you couldnt find competion. walls prevent tears, even if they are shattered...you forget how to cry, all for the sake of composure and pride, but even when there is none of this left one still can not step past old habbits. i am one such person. i have cried for one reason and for one person only. never for anyone or anything else. saying so will destroy what shreads are left of my pride, as of now there is nothing left of what once was. the jester has gone - the mask has been broken, here i stand. this is the alice no one ever knew.
TTFN*mock salute*
LBL
Shield
Just got back from the guns and roses concert! it was fucking awesome as i can no longer hear or talk haha. me and my mate were in the stands with a bunch of old fogies so we had to yell load enough for the rest of them. great concert, but i thought the rolling stones were better.
On to the real topic. ive wanted to smash my phone at least twice today, and i was tempted to throw it into the crowd at the concert too. i find myself constantly getting more frustrated everyday. weather it be at myself, another person, or an inanimate object, i can not seem to keep myself together and composed. its like i've reached a limit, but one that i can not identify. right now at best i can be described as trying to embrace a rose bush because it seems so beautiful, in the end you will only get hurt, for all i appear to be right now its thorns. the glass has shattered, and rains a sea of shards. i no longer have a shield, for the wound was deep as it cracked the surface of the breast plate that defended my pride. in my mind i see a child who has lost everything that she had held dear to her heart, i see her in darkness. she cant find the light. yet where as she searches for the lamp to lead the way, i remain stationary, cloaked in a blanket of strangled emotions that i can not decipher. i am nothing with out the wall that once protected me. i am nothing without myself. i am nothing but shattered glass.
TTFN*mock salute*
LBL
On to the real topic. ive wanted to smash my phone at least twice today, and i was tempted to throw it into the crowd at the concert too. i find myself constantly getting more frustrated everyday. weather it be at myself, another person, or an inanimate object, i can not seem to keep myself together and composed. its like i've reached a limit, but one that i can not identify. right now at best i can be described as trying to embrace a rose bush because it seems so beautiful, in the end you will only get hurt, for all i appear to be right now its thorns. the glass has shattered, and rains a sea of shards. i no longer have a shield, for the wound was deep as it cracked the surface of the breast plate that defended my pride. in my mind i see a child who has lost everything that she had held dear to her heart, i see her in darkness. she cant find the light. yet where as she searches for the lamp to lead the way, i remain stationary, cloaked in a blanket of strangled emotions that i can not decipher. i am nothing with out the wall that once protected me. i am nothing without myself. i am nothing but shattered glass.
TTFN*mock salute*
LBL
Sunday, July 1, 2007
Lost
i have no idea what to think about the last...24 hours, should i be jumping for joy that i've finally gotten something off my chest at the expense of an-others feelings, or should i feel horrible because of this little fact? maybe we should try out the latter, because even if i have managed to get my little blog out into the open, i have compromised a possibly blooming relationship, and thats why i stayed quiet about it in the first place. Me, forcing my way into the middle, i really dont like being the wedge, or the little nagging thought in the back of someone else's mind. im supposed to be invisible. i dont want to be considered in any combination of possible answers because that usually causes suffering for the person who takes me into consideration. trust me i know, its what i stupidly pride myself in doing. that would be a reason that there are walls to begin with, others cant hurt me and i cant hurt others. no ink on the paper is easier to take in to consideration in comparison to spilt ink, because then it is non existent, there is nothing to consider it.
love is a two way street. you can either be hurt by it or you can gain happiness from it. i accept where i am now and weather i hurt or not isn't an issue so long as the one i feel strongly for is happy. i shall stand on the sidelines and continue to do so as my life passes me by. i gladly take the path that has been lain before me.
TTFN*mock salute*
LBL
love is a two way street. you can either be hurt by it or you can gain happiness from it. i accept where i am now and weather i hurt or not isn't an issue so long as the one i feel strongly for is happy. i shall stand on the sidelines and continue to do so as my life passes me by. i gladly take the path that has been lain before me.
TTFN*mock salute*
LBL
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